You continue to live in our hearts, Amy, and you always will!

Yesterday morning, my friend Amy passed away.
I am still at a loss for words. Everything I write just seems hollow and doesn't really express what I feel. 
I am still in shock, I guess, and the news hasn't really sunk in yet. Amy was such an amazing person; I just cannot imagine her not being here anymore. 
I tried to distract myself today by talking as much as I haven't talked in my whole life (about totally banal subjects), by starting to clean my room at 6am, by reorganizing every single drawer, by making random plans and running around doing errands; but nothing helped. Amy is always on my mind. I will miss her terribly, as will so many others. 
My husband and I talked about the outpouring of love seen on her Facebook page during the last weeks and especially days. I hope Amy was able to read everyone's comments and knew that she was loved and will be deeply missed. Please keep praying for her, her family and friends. 


I would like to encourage you to read the following blog posts, composed so much more eloquently and beautifully; every single one was written for and in memory of Amy. 


AngelSteph:
http://angelsteph.wordpress.com/2011/04/30/farewell-my-friend/#comment-126


Edith Baker:
http://spicedogs.livejournal.com/817545.html


Lea:
http://jelejada.blogspot.com/2011/04/life-death.html


AlisonL:
http://300sixtyfive.blogspot.com/2011/04/update.html


Cliff Ravenscraft:
http://gspn.tv/AmyWright/

Blessed

They say that you find out who you`re real friends are when they stay with you, even in hard times.


Well, I am the most blessed girl in the world because I have tons of family members and REAL friends who did NOT turn their backs on me  when they heard about my issue.


I have been showered with love, encouragement, thoughts, the kindest words, prayers and even gifts and blog posts.


I have the best and most wonderful, understanding husband in the entire world. He has been at my side throughout these awful weeks and months and I feel awful doing this to him. But we both know that our marriage will get better and our bond will only grow stronger because together we can and will get through this. 


My family (especially my incredibly strong mom and my beautiful sister) encourages me in every step I take. I could have never done it without them.


A few days ago, I received a package from Belgium! Winnie sent me a CD of Christian Ingebrigsten, her favorite artist, as a way of encouragement. I was speechless when I received this gift and I am listening to the album on repeat. Winnie, this is exactly my kind of music! Awesome. Thank you so much! 


Speaking of speechless, I do not know what to say about Alison devoting a blog entry to, mostly because I haven`t been able to read through more than the first few lines. I find it so very hard to read positive, flattering things about me or to even receive compliments. I know that Alison does not take this the wrong way and I will read it eventually, step by step; but, like I said, reading that people see me in a positive light is not easy for me... But, nontheless, when I saw a new blog of Alison`s in my reader and went ahead to read it, I was touched beyond words that she would take the time to write about me again. Thank you, Alison! 

Read Alison`s fantastic blog here:

http://300sixtyfive.blogspot.com/2011/03/day-312-open-one.html

not just because of the one post about me. ;) It is REALLY worth your time.

All the words of encouragement that reached me through twitter, email, facebook, letters, by phone and in person are overwhelming; especially knowing that most of you have your own very heavy burden to carry. And a special thank you for those who make me laugh. As they say, "laughter is the best medicine". 


Ich danke Euch allen von HERZEN. I would have NEVER dreamed of this issue being taken so well and of receiving so much support. I would have never dared to even think of such a thing.


I now know that, next to my family, I HAVE REAL FRIENDS; something I also had given up hope on a long time ago.  

Winnie

Last week, my sister and I met up with my good friend Winnie in Cologne.

Winnie had a break between semesters and had asked me a long time ago if I wanted to have a girl's trip for a few days. When Valerie had to come back home from Cameroon a month earlier, we decided to taker her with us.

Unfortunately, it was very cold during the 3 days in Cologne and on the last day, it was pouring with rain. So, we spent most of our time in cafés, restaurants and at Starbucks (*grin*) chatting about everything you could possibly think of. I was very happy to see that Valerie and Winnie got along really well right away. 

Winnie is from Belgium and I got to know her through gspn.tv a long, long time ago. We were among the first members of the wonderful community Stephanie and Cliff created through their podcasts.

Being the same age, having the same interests and very similar fears, thoughts and goals in life, I felt a deep connection to Winnie from the very beginning and our friendship has grown consistently over the last few year using social media networks like twitter and facebook. 

Naturally, we also did some sightseeing (the Kölner Dom is a must-see, incredibly impressive; I have seen it so many times, but it never gets old!); we went to the Chocolate Museum  (there is such a strong, delicious, yummy chocolate aroma in the whole factory that it almost drives you crazy. Hmmmm), walked around the town for hours braving the cold and on the last day, Winnie and I went to the Roman Museum while Valerie was looking at art in the Ludwig Museum. There was not a single dull moment as we were laughing and talking ALL the time.

This just goes to show you that relationships that you form over the internet ARE real, sincere and true; they aren’t superficial or imaginary as most people still claim. Winnie is a much better friend than some people I have known all my life. She has been a source of inspiration and encouragement and I could not imagine not having her in my life anymore. I really hope that we will find a way to meet again very soon; preferably in Belgium (I have never beeen there...).

Some impressions of our time together:

Interesting fact:

Ironically, it took the premiere of the last season of LOST for the two of us to meet for the very first time – in KENTUCKY. What a funny little world we live in...

Breakfast at Cracker Barrel with the gspn.tv community
in February 2010