Trip to Kribi

Valerie buying our tickets.

Le Centre de Voyage.

On Tuesday morning, it was time to set off on our excursion ot Kribi.
After we arrived at the bus station at about 7.30 am, we waited in the bus until it was full – 5 people had to sit  in every single row, no matter how tall or how big they were; this lead to some VERY funny scenarios (I wish I could have taken pictures, but I did not want to be disrespectful).

Waiting for 2 hours would have been fine, had there not been vomit on my seat. But, I survived… The ride was actually quite good and the road was not bad at all.

Our bus.

The cute thing is that there is only one road leading out of Yaoundé and after 2 hours, there is a traffic circle with one exit to Douala (the commercial center of Cameroon) and another one to Kribi. It was fascinating to drive through the rainforest with vegetation that is so different than what we see it every day. The bus stopped a few times in order to give street vendors a chance to sell “arachides” (the best peanuts I have ever eaten), manioc, bananas, banana chips, melons, water, soda, but also toilet paper, books, bibles or handkerchiefs.

It only took us about 3 hours, instead of the 4 that Valerie had told us, until we arrived in a still untouched beautiful, little fishing village.

However, this will change soon as the government decided to build a huge port in Kribi at one of the most beautiful, heavenly beaches I have ever seen. Chinese companies are already building new roads and I am sure that it will not take long until this little piece of paradise is destroyed. 

The taxi driver that had taken Valerie and Joseph all over town the first time they had been to Kribi recognized Valerie right away and was smiling like a child when he saw her, knowing that he would make a lot of money in the next few days… 

Our beach.

Our hotel was cute, clean and right at the beach. I instantly fell in love with this it and could have stayed there forever just feeling the breeze of the ocean on my skin and listening to the sound of the waves.  There is something about sea air that makes me feel alive and fresh and able to think clear; I always feel 100 % better when I am staying close to the ocean.

But I digress… 

Marina de Kribi

We had dinner in a wonderful restaurant at the marina and were able to take a very romantic walk on the beach until sunset.

It was the perfect start to 3 awesome days on the beach.

Full Moon in Kribi.

The day in pictures:

A random anecdote:
There were a few children playing at the beach who, upon seeing us, wanted to touch “les blancs”. Joseph told Valerie never to let them touch her because nobody could know whether they were really only children or demons hidden in the bodies of children.
This statement surprised us a bit.

Even though Joseph is Catholic, reads the bible every day and goes to Church at least once a week, the traditional set of beliefs of the Cameroonian nature religions is still omnipresent in his everyday life.

Third time is a charm

Okay, let us try this post again...

Last Thursday was my first therapy session at the Universitätsklinik Zürich and it didn’t go as I expected.

It took me such a long time to write this post because I had to come to terms and deal with everything that the doctor said.

I had the feeling that the doctor was very competent and I felt quite comfortable. She asked me what felt like thousands of questions and at the end she suggested a treatment as an inpatient because of the period of time that I have been sick. Just by seeing me this once, she could tell that I was in a very poor state of health and she told me that, if I didn’t get healthy soon, the consequences would be grave.
There was not enough time for talking about the details and/or possible alternatives and the unfortunate thing is that she is not here this week, so my next appointment is still a week away. This might not seem long to you, but for me, it feels like an eternity in hell.

I was extremely disappointed after this session because it was clear to me that I would have to start all over again, searching for a therapist, waiting for an appointment, delaying the much needed treatment again.
I have been in a state of limbo ever since. Going to a clinic is my worst nightmare. I just started university, how could I possibly put my life on hold AGAIN? If I decided to take some time to go to this clinic, I would not earn my bachelor’s degree until I was at least 28 years old; an embarrassing and impossible thought.

However, my doctor is right.

During my therapy session, I had to step on the scale despite my vehement protest. The doctor wanted to see how critical my state really is. Since I was my weight, this number is going through my head like a live ticker 24/7. Tick tack tick tack tick tack Sick.
Today is the third day of the new semester and I am sad to admit that I have started the same behavioral pattern as last semester. The anxiety is back, the fear of having to make a decision about my calorie intake, the pressure to go workout despite feeling ill and weak and the inability to concentrate on the lecture. It is all back.

Furthermore, I collapsed yesterday afternoon for the third time in the last few months. First, it happened at the Apple Store, then once on campus and yesterday at home. I am lucky that nothing serious happened. However, three times is ENOUGH.

I am at the end of my tether, my body is exhausted and my mind cannot take it anymore. What is even more important is the fact that my family cannot deal with it anymore either. They are helpless and cannot bear to see me like this anymore and they just can’t and won’t listen to my craziness one more day.

As unbearable the thought is that my sister, who is 3 years younger, will graduate long before I will, I will have to accept it. In the physical and mental state that I am in right now, I would never be able to make it through this semester.
I cannot wait any longer.
So, praying that they have a spot for me soon, I will almost certainly have myself admitted to a clinic.