What color does your day have?

I had the weirdest dream on Tuesday night, a dream that is too complicated, too confusing and too complex to describe. Let’s just say it was a combination of my trip to Africa, LOST, the plane in the Hudson river and my marriage…
This dream was so powerful that it still lingers on in my mind, it still affects the way I feel today.
It is interesting how a dream can determine the color of your day, the mood, your feelings, the way you go about things etc.

So, the color of my day on Tuesday was orange, a very bright African orange. I cannot really explain it, but this color was omnipresent in my mind. Do you know that “feeling”? Do dreams ever affect you in such an enormous way?
On Tuesday I felt like I could die from melancholy, and it still has not really worn off. I miss my sister more than usually, I think about our trip to Cameroon all the time and I am homesick for Yaoundé, Valeries little house there and the time we spent there.

I have since dreamed quite a lot (last night I dreamed of Mad Men), but none of these dreams has had the same effect on me. So, my color of the day still remains the same.
I hope that it will change soon though. After all, I want to experience all colors of the rainbow and not just one.

Blessed

They say that you find out who you`re real friends are when they stay with you, even in hard times.


Well, I am the most blessed girl in the world because I have tons of family members and REAL friends who did NOT turn their backs on me  when they heard about my issue.


I have been showered with love, encouragement, thoughts, the kindest words, prayers and even gifts and blog posts.


I have the best and most wonderful, understanding husband in the entire world. He has been at my side throughout these awful weeks and months and I feel awful doing this to him. But we both know that our marriage will get better and our bond will only grow stronger because together we can and will get through this. 


My family (especially my incredibly strong mom and my beautiful sister) encourages me in every step I take. I could have never done it without them.


A few days ago, I received a package from Belgium! Winnie sent me a CD of Christian Ingebrigsten, her favorite artist, as a way of encouragement. I was speechless when I received this gift and I am listening to the album on repeat. Winnie, this is exactly my kind of music! Awesome. Thank you so much! 


Speaking of speechless, I do not know what to say about Alison devoting a blog entry to, mostly because I haven`t been able to read through more than the first few lines. I find it so very hard to read positive, flattering things about me or to even receive compliments. I know that Alison does not take this the wrong way and I will read it eventually, step by step; but, like I said, reading that people see me in a positive light is not easy for me... But, nontheless, when I saw a new blog of Alison`s in my reader and went ahead to read it, I was touched beyond words that she would take the time to write about me again. Thank you, Alison! 

Read Alison`s fantastic blog here:

http://300sixtyfive.blogspot.com/2011/03/day-312-open-one.html

not just because of the one post about me. ;) It is REALLY worth your time.

All the words of encouragement that reached me through twitter, email, facebook, letters, by phone and in person are overwhelming; especially knowing that most of you have your own very heavy burden to carry. And a special thank you for those who make me laugh. As they say, "laughter is the best medicine". 


Ich danke Euch allen von HERZEN. I would have NEVER dreamed of this issue being taken so well and of receiving so much support. I would have never dared to even think of such a thing.


I now know that, next to my family, I HAVE REAL FRIENDS; something I also had given up hope on a long time ago.